I apologize for being so judgmental

I get it now.

The dead grass in the "yard".  Piles of trash in the corner of the lot.  The abandoned-looking car on the curb.  Piles of clutter.  Weeds taking over.  Paint peeling.  Shingles sliding off the roof.  Temporary solutions that have become permanent.  Rotting deck.  Baby books started when the child is 16.  Piles of dishes in the sink.

I get it now.

My house and yard have become what I once mocked.  I would think, "Why don't those people just mow their yard?"  "Can't they get a can of paint and fix that?"  The truth is: time, money, ability, access, know how.  All of those barriers to taking care of everything in the second paragraph.  Some of the uncompleted projects are missing all five aspects.  Lately, the first two have been missing.   Piles of large object that need to go to the dump are in my shed; my car isn't big enough to haul them and they are too trashed to donate.  The siding on the house is rotting away because I don't have the money to pay a contractor to fix it.  The deck is full of splinters and rotting wood because I don't have the time to repair it.  The garden is barren.  The weeds have thrived.  I don't even know where to start with the gutter drainage problem.

So, I get it now.  I will no longer condemn those whose homes look less than stellar.  I will no longer judge those whose to do lists are never completed.  I will forgive myself for not finishing everything I "need" to finish.  I could have spent the morning hacking back blackberry brambles.  Instead, I went on a long bike ride with my sons.  And in the end, isn't that what they are going to remember more?  Will they remember our yard being immaculate, or will they remember me taking some time to be with them?