Note to self:

When attending an outdoor event in Seattle, if there is even the tiniest chance of rain, wear waterproof shoes.  Vans are not appropriate as rainy day shoes.  And don't leave your Gore-tex jacket in the car.

Dear Politicians and Groups Trying to Gain My Vote

Stop it.  Stop it.  Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it. Stop it.

Stop it.

Your negative ads are not only a logical fallacy but they are making my ears bleed.  You killed too many trees while clogging my mail box telling me to think of the children.  Stop it.

Stop!

Intent, part 2

The more I write for this blog, the more blogs I read out there in the blogosphere.  (Somewhere, there are the Ghosts of Professors Past doing their best Mr. Burns' impressions.  Excellent!)  And, gracious, there is a crapton of blogs out there.  I guess everyone with a computer is a writer.  (Reminds me of a Family Guy quote: Every hot girl who can aim a camera thinks she's a photographer.)  I'm not belittling any one's contribution to the blogosphere nor am I being a writing snob.  Here's what I've noticed.

1.  The majority of blogs have a specific focus.  Mommy blogs, daddy blogs, fashion blogs, rage blogs, and so on and so on.  (I claim in my info that I will not be pigeonholed into one blogging category.  I just like to ramble about anything.)  And, the reason these blogs have a specific focus is to do the next item.

2.  The majority of blogs want/try to build a fan base.  Please repost this to your awkward social network.  You like me, you really like me.  And so on and so on.  The reason these blogs have a fan base is to do the next item.

3.  The majority of blogs are trying to make money.  Maybe I'm just naive, but this one surprised me. I've had to wade through so many advertising side bars and pitches for my latest book and come here me lecture at the College of Kalamazoo.  Blogging in and of itself is a job?  Really??  I can understand if one works for a publication to have a blog make money.  I can also understand if a famous person starts a blog after the celebrity is established.  (I believe that is why I follow Steve Martin on Twitter.  He's that damn funny.)  But, gaining popularity/celebrity BECAUSE you have a blog seems backwards to me.  It's like being famous for being famous (I'm looking at your Ms. Hilton).  Then again, I do love The Oatmeal.  I guess it's all about intent.  If you want to make money in your pajamas, you can do it.  Just send me $49.95 and I'll send you my instructional DVD.

Speaking of intent, I would like to address the people who leave comments on these bazillion blogs out there.  Stop promoting your own blog in the comments (it's like spamming).  And stop trolling.  Have you nothing better to do with your time than correct other people's mistakes?  If you really get your ya-yas by trashing the grammar of others, then become an English teacher.  (I know you really do it to make yourself feel powerful and mightier.  Having low self-esteem can be so socially crippling.)

An Experiment

I'm writing this from my Kindle. How freaking awesome is that! It's a little awkward to type a whole lot. Now I don't need to get a smartphone. Let's be honest; I really just wanted a smartphone to play Angry Birds. Take that, overpriced data plans!

Curse you, Madison Avenue

I am grateful that the shows the boys enjoy watching are on PBS.  No freaking commercials.  When they do watch a show on the networks, I'm starting to hear, "Mommy, we need to go get that!"  Ugh!  But, sadly, it isn't just the commercials anymore that influence Drake's brain.  Here are a few examples:

D: Mommy, we need to go buy M&Ms at Albertson's.
Whaaaa...?  I get the candy part, but Albertson's?  What the heck?  We were watching the NASCAR race, and sure enough, on the #18 M&Ms car was a teeny tiny sticker for Albertson's.  Wow, is he ever paying attention.

The boys were watching Curious George.  Popcorn is featured prominently in one episode.  I turned the TV off after the show for dinner time and I hear, "Mommy, we need to get some popcorn."  He threw quite a fit when I told him we can't have popcorn for dinner.  (When I was in college, sure, popcorn for dinner was fair game.)

Yesterday's CG episode was "Juicy George."  The monkey gets a hold of a juicer.  Chaos ensues.  The resulting juice is quite tasty.  I turned the TV off.
D:  Mommy, we need to juice something.
Me:  We don't have a juicer, honey.
D: Oh, OK, let's go buy a juicer RIGHT NOW.
Me: No, Drake, we are not going to buy a juicer.
D:  WAAAAAHHHHH!
Me:  We do have a blender.
D: *pause in hissy fit*  What do blenders do?
Me: They blend things.  Should we go to the store tomorrow and buy some fruit to make juice in the blender?
D:  Oh!  Let's go RIGHT NOW.
Me:  It's dinner time.  We'll go to the store tomorrow.
D:  WAAAAAAHHHHHH!
We did go to the store today to buy juice-making ingredients.  Drake picked them out.  Here is the recipe:
               1 mango
               2 black plums
               1 lemon
               1 1/2 cup 7-up
               Remove skin from fruit and chop into little bits.  Put little bits in blender with liquid.  Blend.
The result didn't completely suck.  Drake wasn't a huge fan of our recipe.  He decided we are going to try again on Sunday afternoon.  (I think we went horribly wrong with the lemon.)  More importantly, we had a really good time with the process, even if the result was less than tasty.

My/Not My Drake

My Drake

Not my Drake

My Drake

Not my Drake

My Drake

Not my Drake

My Drake

So not my Drake

Chicken wings

It's no secret that I have very little upper body strength.  As a kid, it was a source of ridicule from my family.  I was shaky carrying the gallon of milk to the dinner table.  I never could climb the rope in gym class.  Tim makes a clucking sound whenever I bring him a bottle/jar that I cannot open.  I've tried most of the jar opening devices to no avail (they all really, really suck).  Then, this past Father's Day, my jar-opening savior arrived in an unexpected place.  While in the Craftsman department of Sears, Drake picked out an unusual tool to give Tim for the holiday: a strap wrench.  Let's just say that it never found it's way into the man cave/workshop.  It works!  I don't know if it was intended for use in the kitchen, but it's never leaving the room now.  Tim knows where to find it, should he need it.

Where have you been all my life?

Express yourself

The boys have become quite entertaining with how they express themselves. 

We have the large generic pack of Hot Wheels track.  It comes with a set of instructions.  Flynn picked up the instructions, put his other hand on his chin, and said, "Hmmmmmm..."

Drake's wacky sense of humor really comes through when singing his ABCs.  He's either shouting them or purposely mixing up the letters.  "E, f, r.  E, f, r?  That's silly.  I'm just cracking you up, Mommy."  Or, while at Albertson's (note, there is a large sign over the entrance for chicken):  "X! Y! Z! NOW YOU KNOW MY ABCS! SING WITH ME! 4.99!"

Cooperation?

For the past couple months, I have been trying to get a decent picture of the boys together for Tim's "Daddy" frame at the office.  The pictures usually end up like this:

Lots of screaming and carrying on.
Or like this:

Finally, I gave up and managed to snap this gem.

This was the best I could do.  They are sitting next to each other without screaming or hitting or throwing.  Why are they so calm and accomodating?  Food.  What else?

Mommy needs a time-out

Yes, I am hiding from my children.  Both are rolling on the floor in the living room, wailing and screaming.  Why?  Did I take away a beloved toy?  Did I deprive them of Curious George?  Did I make them drink Castor oil after scrubbing the floors?  Nope.

They are both throwing fits over the vacuum.

You read that correctly.

Flynn is having a fit because he wants to use the hose to suck up lint, Cheerios, and assorted blankets.  Drake is having a fit because he wants to lie in front of it.  The hot air blowing from the vacuum is keeping him warm.  Never mind that he's wearing only his underwear.  And it's 40 outside.  Nope.  I'm the bad mommy for turning off the small appliance.

Dear Parents' Television Council

Why are you people letting your small children read GQ before it has hit the newsstands?  Are you some kind of weirdo sickoes?  So a few Glee cast members are posing provocatively.  It isn't any more than some of the advertisements found in Cosmo or Vogue.  (I'm assuming that since you let your small children read GQ that these other titles are also fair game.)  And, for the record, what they are doing isn't pedophilia; it's the classic school girl fantasy.  Are you now going to visit every Castle Boutique and burn all the sexy school girl costumes (and sexy pirate and sexy nurse and sexy Alice in Wonderland)?

Getting Approved?

I've been joining Meetup groups, in the interest of meeting new people and finding friends for both the boys and I.  I recently submitted a request to join a group (it was actually an application!) and this is the response I received. 


Subject: Getting Approved

Kristi,


Thank you for your interest in the ___________ meetup group. For the safety and security of our current members and their families, we now ask that you attend one public hosted event and meet one of our AO's before being accepted into this group. We have listed 3 options for the month below. Please respond with a date that might work for you, so we can look for you. This allows us to meet you and you to meet us and ask an questions regarding the group. We are very excited to meet you. If you have any problems adding your photo, please let us know.


What the hell?  This isn't Rush Week.  Are there many SAHMs who compromise safety?  After reading this, I've decided it just isn't worth it.  If I have to endure this much hassle to join a group, the process to be allowed to stay will be ridiculous.  I'm doing a preemptive break up.  It's not me; it's you.

Intent

I realize that I come across as whiny, desperate, and pathetic in this blog.  And, oddly, I'm fine with that. I'd much rather come across that way there than face to face, causing people to run away screaming. This process has become rather cathartic for me.  I made the conscious decision to overcome my isolation.  Part of that is to slay my personal demons (of which there are many).  I didn't start this blog to become a "Blog of Note" or to even gather a base of followers.  I chose to not focus on one particular category, mostly because the thoughts in my brain are varied.  I guess it's all about intent.

So what about the bloggers who do focus on one particular area?  What is the intent?  Is it his/her own way of reducing his/her own isolation, by creating a "community" of others in the same situation?  To let others (and therefore, themselves) know they are not alone in the chaos known as life?  One blog I have been reading lately (which I am not going to name) keeps asking, rather shamelessly, to share his blog with others.  "Please repost on FB, Twitter..."  That, to me, comes across as someone who is desperate to be liked and accepted.  That's going too far.  If you are good at what you do, the sharing will come naturally.  Don't beg.  You are not a dog.

Coming to terms with one's insecurities is very personal, and I am airing mine here.  (It's my blog; I'll write what I want, dammit.)  When I first started using FB, my intent was rooted in my insecurities.  I wanted to gather many "friends" to remind myself that I know people, that people know me, that people wanted to know me, that I wasn't so isolated.  Quickly, I degenerated into my high school self-- the terribly awkward one that counted how many people had signed her yearbook.  (Yes, I did that.  Did more people sign this year than last year?)  I was feeling wounded because more "friends" weren't following my blog.  Then I snapped out of it and returned to this idea of intent.  Why am I on FB?  Why do I write?  When we understand why we do something, we can see the action for all its silliness.  So, why do I do all of this?  To get over myself.  If others read it or don't read it, it doesn't matter.  It shouldn't matter.  It's not like I'm trying to secure a book deal (like some other unnamed bloggers out there are doing).

BBC Booklist

BBC Booklist (Also a transfer from FB)

Apparently the BBC reckons most people will have only read 6 of the 100 books here.

Instructions:

1) Look at the list and put an 'x' after those you have read.

2) Add a '+' to the ones you LOVE.

3) Star (*) those you plan on reading.

4) Tally your total at the bottom.



How many have you read?



1 Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen x +

2 The Lord of the Rings - JRR Tolkien *

3 Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte x

4 Harry Potter series - JK Rowling x

5 To Kill a Mockingbird - Harper Lee X

6 The Bible

7 Wuthering Heights - Emily Bronte x

8 Nineteen Eighty Four - George Orwell x

9 His Dark Materials - Philip Pullman

10 Great Expectations - Charles Dickens

11 Little Women - Louisa M Alcott *

12 Tess of the D’Urbervilles - Thomas Hardy

13 Catch 22 - Joseph Heller x

14 Complete Works of Shakespeare x

15 Rebecca - Daphne Du Maurier

16 The Hobbit - JRR Tolkien X

17 Birdsong - Sebastian Faulks

18 Catcher in the Rye - JD Salinger X +

19 The Time Traveller’s Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

20 Middlemarch - George Eliot

21 Gone With The Wind - Margaret Mitchell x

22 The Great Gatsby - F Scott Fitzgerald X

23 Bleak House - Charles Dickens

24 War and Peace - Leo Tolstoy

25 The Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy - Douglas Adams x +

26 Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

27 Crime and Punishment - Fyodor Dostoyevsky x

28 Grapes of Wrath - John Steinbeck x

29 Alice in Wonderland - Lewis Carroll x+

30 The Wind in the Willows - Kenneth Grahame

31 Anna Karenina - Leo Tolstoy

32 David Copperfield - Charles Dickens

33 Chronicles of Narnia x

34 Emma - Jane Austen x +

35 Persuasion - Jane Austen x

36 The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe - CS Lewis x

37 The Kite Runner - Khaled Hosseini

38 Captain Corelli’s Mandolin - Louis De Bernieres

39 Memoirs of a Geisha - Arthur Golden

40 Winnie the Pooh - AA Milne

41 Animal Farm - George Orwell x

42 The Da Vinci Code - Dan Brown x

43 One Hundred Years of Solitude - Gabriel Garcia Marquez x

44 A Prayer for Owen Meaney - John Irving

45 The Woman in White - Wilkie Collins

46 Anne of Green Gables - LM Montgomery

47 Far From The Madding Crowd - Thomas Hardy

48 The Handmaid’s Tale - Margaret Atwood x

49 Lord of the Flies - William Golding x

50 Atonement - Ian McEwan

51 Life of Pi - Yann Martel

52 Dune - Frank Herbert

53 Cold Comfort Farm - Stella Gibbons

54 Sense and Sensibility - Jane Austen x

55 A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth

56 The Shadow of the Wind - Carlos Ruiz Zafon

57 A Tale Of Two Cities - Charles Dickens x

58 Brave New World - Aldous Huxley x

59 The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - Mark Haddon

60 Love In The Time Of Cholera - Gabriel Garcia Marquez

61 Of Mice and Men - John Steinbeck x

62 Lolita - Vladimir Nabokov x

63 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

64 The Lovely Bones - Alice Sieboldx

65 Count of Monte Cristo - Alexandre Dumas x +

66 On The Road - Jack Kerouac x

67 Jude the Obscure - Thomas Hardy

68 Bridget Jones’s Diary - Helen Fielding x +

69 Midnight’s Children - Salman Rushdie

70 Moby Dick - Herman Melville

71 Oliver Twist - Charles Dickens

72 Dracula - Bram Stoker x +

73 The Secret Garden - Frances Hodgson Burnett

74 Notes From A Small Island - Bill Bryson

75 Ulysses - James Joyce

76 The Bell Jar - Sylvia Plath x

77 Swallows and Amazons - Arthur Ransome

78 Germinal - Emile Zola

79 Vanity Fair - William Makepeace Thackeray

80 Possession - AS Byatt

81 A Christmas Carol - Charles Dickens

82 Cloud Atlas - David Mitchell

83 The Color Purple - Alice Walker x

84 The Remains of the Day - Kazuo Ishiguro

85 Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert x

86 A Fine Balance - Rohinton Mistry

87 Charlotte’s Web - EB White X

88 The Five People You Meet In Heaven - Mitch Albom

89 Adventures of Sherlock Holmes - Sir Arthur Conan Doyle x

90 The Faraway Tree Collection - Enid Blyton

91 Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad x

92 The Little Prince - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

93 The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks

94 Watership Down - Richard Adams x

95 A Confederacy of Dunces - John Kennedy Toole

96 A Town Like Alice - Nevil Shute

97 The Three Musketeers - Alexandre Dumas

98 Hamlet - William Shakespeare x +

99 Charlie and the Chocolate Factory - Roald Dahl x

100 Les Miserables - Victor Hugo x



only 44...what I lousy English major I was...

The interesting part of this list- the majority of the titles I have checked as having read, I read in high school. Go fig.

.

25 things

(This was a note on Facebook.  I thought I would transfer it over here, so I can delete it there.)

25 Things

by Kristi Walker on Tuesday, February 3, 2009 at 11:06pm.Rules:

Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 25 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 25 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you. I never tag people in these notes.
1. I'm a lazy person. This thing been floating on FB for quite some time, and I'm just now getting around to it.

2. If given all the spare time in the world, I would accomplish nothing. If I'm scheduled to the hilt, I'll be productive.

3. I don't wear much make-up or style my hair. I wear comfortable clothes. This is an extension of my laziness. All of that takes time and effort.

4. Despite #3, I have a secret girly-girl side that likes fashion, glamor, and jewelry.

5. When texting, I am compelled to use proper spelling and punctuation. I have let go of capitalization rules, however.

6. When asked what my favorite movie or song is, I never have an answer. My tastes are so varied that the answer could change based on day and mood.

7. Thanks to the influence of my father, I am a huge fan of James Bond and Mel Brooks.

8. I cry easily. Always have. I was a blubbering mess in the Sistine Chapel.

9. I'm a horrible baker. It requires an attention to detail. Cooking, on the other hand, is more freeing and allows for improvisation.

10. I taught high school English for three years. The experience was the teaching equivalent of boot camp. Plus, I was one of the few members of the department with a degree in English. It still bothers me.

11. I'm obsessive about checking my financial balances every day.

12. I started watching QVC when I was pregnant with my first son. (I've never ordered anything.) I just find the whole concept fascinating. I pity the people who call in just to talk to the hosts.

13. I love my pink flamingo Vans.

14. I played a variety of sports as a minor. Volleyball, basketball, cross country, track, soccer, swimming, diving, tennis- but not softball. Not sure why. I was a three-letter woman in high school.

15. Speaking of high school, I so desperately wanted to be liked and accepted, I joined too many clubs and groups, I let my classmates cheat off my work, and I lied to my parents so I could take some people to a prom after party. Wasn't worth it.

16. I love my children very much, but some days, I would like to sell them to gypsies.

17. I should have joined a sorority in college. I didn't- not because of the money or association, but because I didn't want to have to share a room with seven to nine other women.

18. I'm not incredibly crafty, but I enjoy scrapbooking. I don't get crazy and spend three hours on one page. I keep it simple. Scrapbooking curbs the pack rat tendencies and allows me to let go of the unimportant minutiae.

19. I love watching my husband interacting with our children. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy.

20. I could watch the five hour BBC miniseries version of 'Pride and Prejudice' over and over and over again. Oh wait, I already have.

21. I can't get enough of Starbucks' green tea Frappuccinos.

22. I will be a happy person if I never have to read another word written by Hemingway.

23. I love getting a pedicure. I have ruined every manicure within ten minutes of leaving the salon.

24. If I could get away with it, I would eat cereal for every meal.

25. I probably won't tag anyone for this note. I believe everyone on FB has already been tagged by at least five people.

One year already?

It's my blog-iversary!  *Fweeeeeeee*  (I've having great difficulty with onomatopoeia lately.)  This year has just flown by.  Ack!  Slow down!  Slow down!


This post has been brought to you by the exclamation point.  If you want excessive emphasis, use the exclamation point!

Will wonders never cease?

I took the boys to a play date today at someone's house.  I believe, for the first time, I really enjoyed myself.  Why?  I was able to talk to the other moms.  The boys actually played with the other kids instead of screaming* or trying to lick every toy in the room. Neither were trying to make a daring escape or torturing anyone. We all had a great time.  (Thanks, Amber!)  Wow!  So that's how it's supposed to be.  Amazing.


*For the record, I did have to carry Flynn out screaming.  He was over-tired and didn't want to leave.

Isn’t the brain awesome?

I was sitting in a delightful establishment, eating lunch and grading essays, when Styx’s “Babe” started playing. Immediately, I thought of M*. Every time I hear that song, that’s where my brain goes. Every time I hear any song by The Who, I think of MP. Air Supply: P. Violent Femmes and They Might Be Giants: H. “Pencil Thin Moustache”: E. Every time. Without fail. I hope it never changes.






*Names have been omitted to prevent awkwardness.

Unclean! Unclean!

In the interest of research, I thought I would watch Jersey Shore, just to see what all the hype was about.  There is not enough hand sanitizer nor a scrubby brush big enough to scour those images from my brain.  I believe my IQ dropped in half from watching 10 minutes of that show.  So, what is the appeal?  Tanned, stupid people being crass and generally douche-y?

Now, I understand the appeal of Jackass.  Is it wrong of me to want to watch Jackass: 3D but bag on Jersey Shore?

I really need to stop reading magazines

I've come to the realization than magazines that target women really do target women.  Our collective heads have been placed upon the target with arrows constantly shooting at us.  You aren't organized enough-- fidd-d-d-d-d.  (I don't know how to phonetically spell out an arrow hitting a target.  In my head, the sound comes from a Daffy Duck cartoon).  You're looking too old.  You're looking too fat.  What do you mean you aren't hand-stitching chipboard onto the hand pressed paper in your daily scrapbook?  You're a horrible mother for purchasing cupcakes at the store for your child's birthday party.  You need to be a super woman in every thing you do.  You need to be perfect; otherwise, you are unworthy of love, success, and children.  Bah!  Evil magazines.  The worst of these "archers": magazines run by women.  Don't we feel enough inadequacies without you bringing up some more that we didn't consider on our own?

Men's magazines are must simpler and don't impose judgement upon the reader.  Look!  Cars.  Guns.  Naked women.  Aren't these really neat? 

So jealous.

Age is just a number, right?

My niece Meghan turned 18 today.  I am now twice her age.  How's that for feeling old?

On the upside of feeling old today, 14 years ago today I hooked up with Tim.  I cannot go into the juicy details because of mixed company, but there was red wine on the ceiling from two engineers without a corkscrew thinking if they just shoved the cork into the bottle, all will be well.

Politics and Facebook

I have learned more about friends' personal politics from being on Facebook than I ever have from conversation.  The views from high school friends have surprised me the most.  I've known then for half of my life.  We became friends before we ever really understood politics and understood our own points of view.  I'm surprised how conservative the views tend to be (and that's isn't a slam--just an observation).  This shouldn't surprise me at all, but it does.  It makes perfect sense.  We were all raised Catholic.  Catholics tend to be more on the conservative side.  We tend (for the most part) to share the views of our parents.  It's the transitive property from geometry.  For some reason, I assumed others my age are more liberal.  Must be left over from my college experiences.  (And, what exactly does it mean to be either conservative or liberal?  Is there a checklist somewhere?)

Political discourse in this country has degenerated into a shouting match, where the loudest crackpot is heard.  A whole generation will believe this is the way it's done.  It isn't!!!  I can't wait for the election season to be over.  I want attack ads banned.  Don't the politicians see the logical fallacies created by attack ads?  I want to see this: 
               Hi!  I'm Joe Schmoe.  I believe this way on this issue and this way on this other issue.     
               I believe x, y, and z need to be banned.  Let's implement q.
Sadly, my dream will never come to fruition.  We say we want honest politicians (ha!), but we don't really mean it.  Being honest won't get you elected.

I plan on attending Jon Stewart's Rally to Restore Sanity.  I'm tired of extremists establishing policy.  (So, if I understand correctly, taking taxpayer money and giving it to the rich is a wonderful thing, but giving taxpayer money to people who need it is socialism?  Do you not see the disconnect?)  Let's bring logic back to the debate.

Halloween

I'm enjoying Halloween again, and it's not just for the candy.  What I always liked was making up creative costumes.  The best costumes I've made were in college.  I dressed up as a highlighter (one yellow and one black hoodie), static cling (pinned socks and underwear to myself), an electric fence (silver ribbon and a stun gun), and a Catholic school girl (I already had the uniform-- I just slutted it up a bit).  My roommate and I went a King Arthur and Patsy using a coconut bought in the Student Union building and some white garbage bags.  As a kid, very few had the pre-printed vinyl sheets and coordinating plastic masks.  I have nothing against store bought costumes, but the creativity is lost.  I always wanted to dress up as a punk rocker as a kid; my mom would never let me.  Not sure why.

Drake had no opinions on what he wanted to be for Halloween.  I wanted to do something I could make.  So, this year, we are going as skunks.  Black hoodies, boas, and double sided tape is all it takes.  (I do know how to sew; I did take home ec in the dark ages.  I'm not great at it, so anything beyond fixing a hem and it's a hot mess.)

What are you lookin' at?



Drake's finished costume



Drake wanted to help, so he was my dress form.

Flynn's was more difficult to finish, especially since he won't stay still for anything.  Hopefully, it won't be raining at the Zoo Boo and numerous other outings we have planned this October.

Balance

I believe I have struck a good balance with the wearing of my many hats.  I didn't know it would be as simple as sending my children to daycare/preschool twice a week.  I've been able to take time for myself.  I've been able to check some items off the massive to do list.  I'm only teaching one class right now.  I would prefer two*, but this is a nice way to ease into the transition.  I'm not torn between the guilt of being a full-time working mother and the guilt of not earning money by staying home.  I'm not as stressed out about my massive to do list because I am able to work on it, little by little.  I can now see that is it all manageable.  I can now work on my issues (of which there are many).  The depression seems to be dissipating.  Now, to focus on the social skills so my boys don't end up awkward like mommy. :)



*Mostly, I would like to teach two classes for the money.  We could always use more money**.

**I've never met anyone who has declared, "I just have too much money.  What a dilemma!"

Stand, sit, kneel, repeat-- part 2

So, why haven't I attend mass in over a decade?  I'm having issue with dogma, you know, the man-made rules one must abide to be a part of the "club."  I'm going to hell.  Did you know that?  And, why, may you ask?  Did I murder someone?  Steal from orphans?  Pee in the baptismal font?  No, none of those.  I'm going to hell because I had my tubes tied.  I have made the conscious choice to have only two kids.  Given our situation (financially, emotionally, intellectually), stopping at two is the right and responsible course of action.  Remember, every sperm is sacred.  And since I have blocked off the access of that sperm to any others eggs, well, I'm going to hell.

It's not the religion in and of itself with which I have issues.  Mostly, it's the people who hide behind it.  I have encountered so many people who claim to be Christian but perform the most un-Christian-like actions.  These people spout memorized lines from the Bible to announce to all how devout they are, but then spread venom and bile through gossip, hatred, and intolerance.  All the major religions tout peace and love, yet some followers use specific passages from their religious tomes to justify alienation, estrangement, enslavement, and war.  I have difficulty with entities that fear independent thought and specific children's stories.

My parents are devout Catholics, but you wouldn't know it.  They don't cram Bible verses down your throat.  They don't monopolize conversations with talk of God or the Church.  Their faith is seen through their actions.  If more Christians were devout in their actions instead of just their words, then the world would be a better place.

I saw an interview with Gene Simmons (of all people), and he was discussing the difference between Judaism and Christianity.  In Christianity, one just needs to ask forgiveness for all the awful things he or she did during life to gain entrance into heaven.  In Judaism, entrance is gained by living a good, kind life.  So, basically, I can act like a douche my entire life, but on my deathbed, I can ask for forgiveness and get into heaven ahead of someone who lived a good life, provided for his family, was kind to strangers and friends, but didn't go to church.  Doesn't quite seem fair, does it?

Guess what we're doing today?

Drake: Mommy, where are we going today?
Me: I have no plans for us to go anywhere today.
D: bows head in pout
M: Drake, do you have a plan for us today?
D: smiles Oh, yes!  First, we go to Starbucks... then the toy store... then we just come back home.

Stand, sit, kneel, repeat

I've starting attending mass again after a decade+ absence (much to the delight of my father).  What he doesn't know is that I'm attending for all the wrong reasons.  My presence in mass has nothing to do with my own spirituality or faithfulness.  Nope.  I'm there so I can get my boys into school.

There's no way I'm sending my boys to the public school a half mile from our house.  I don't care that it is now a "Montessori" school.  Slapping a coat of fresh paint on a condemned building doesn't mean it will suddenly pass code.  I'll do whatever it takes to have the money for tuition.  I'd even go so far as to work at Wal-Mart.  Sadly, charter schools do not exist in this area.

If we still lived in Phoenix, none of this would be an issue.  They would already be baptized, and I know which school they would attend.  We made the choice to move here; they did not.  I needed to man-up (woman-up?) and take the steps necessary to pave the way for their education.  They still haven't sat with me during mass.  No one in the congregation is ready for that.  But, they really enjoy the post-mass donuts.  And, who doesn't?

My review of "Waiting for Superman"

Can filmmakers please stop labeling films as "documentaries" when the films clearly are not?  A documentary implies an impartial "documenting" of events.  The modern day "documentary" is just nonfiction storytelling.  The director clearly has an agenda (a la Michael Moore) and emotional manipulation is part of the storytelling process.  I'm saying the type of film needs to be abolished; it needs to be rebranded.  "Editorial" maybe.  "Opinion piece" possibly.  But not documentary.

I expected to become enraged by Waiting for 'Superman'.  From everything I had read and seen (from reviews to Oprah to the union newsletter*), I expected to be personally attacked for all the failings in the classroom.  I was pleasantly surprised that this wasn't a witch hunt against teachers.  I did enjoy the film, except for the blatant emotional manipulation.  (I'm insulted that the director thinks intelligent people need a heart-wrench story to buy into the notion that something needs to be done.)

To sum up the film (without any major spoilers), the educational system is broken.  It's the fault of the teachers' union.  Your child will fail if he or she attends a public or parochial school.  Charter schools are the magic bullet.

Clearly this film is biased towards charter schools.  It does mention one statistic that is quickly dropped like a hot turd: only 1 in 5 charter schools are successful.  BTW, that's the same number a public schools.  No successful public schools are presented; no failing charter schools are presented. 

Another aspect missing from the film is that of parental responsibility.  Sure, we see the concerned parents of the students highlighted in the film.  But, what about the thousands who aren't?  Parental involvement is a huge factor, as is student accountability.  I have an acquaintance who teaches high school English, yet his oldest child is a grade behind in reading.  Why?  Because he has been very self-centered regarding the divorce and hasn't focused on his children.  An English teacher's child should not be behind in reading, especially if the child goes to an excellent school (like this one does).

If nothing else, I hope an open and honest dialogue will take place because of this film.  Let's find out what is working and do it.  Let's stop following the latest fad in pedagogy.  Let's get back to basics.  We are all to blame for the failing educational system in this country; for we say we value education, yet our actions indicate otherwise.

*I am not a member of the union.  I'm not a fan of unions, but that is a rant for another time. If I ever plan on teaching full-time in this state, I will be forced to join the union. The union, not surprisingly, HATED this film.

Being who you are

My heart was breaking last night for Mondo on Project Runway.  Hearing his story was like a punch in the gut.  (When he finally came out to his mother, she told him not to tell the rest of the family.  He's been HIV positive for ten years and never told a soul, until last night via a reality television program.)  It's heart-wrenching to think someone can't be themselves to his or her family.  How do I instill in my children to be true to themselves and be who they are?  How do I teach them to be confident in themselves to be who they are no matter the situation?  I know I wasn't this way, and I still have issues with it.  How do we break that cycle in our children?  Can I ask any more questions in this posting?