Flynn funnies

Tim: Have a good day at Miss Lena's.
Flynn:  WHAAAAAT?  That's the wrong answer.  That's not even the right question!

***

Flynn:  Mommy, I need some money.
(He's three.  I can't imagine for what he needs money.  Subtle, he is not.)

***

Flynn: The water in the pool doesn't taste so good.
Me: Close your mouth when you jump in, honey.
Flynn: Don't want to.

***

Flynn (with the balloon from Drake's birthday party):  Chuck E. Cheese is in the house!


***

Flynn:  (Slaps forehead) Oh gosh!  We forgot to build the train track!


***

Flynn: Mommy, I don't want to be a robot today.

Shows I really need to stop watching

I don't watch that much TV, in part to the wonderful invention- the DVR.  I don't have much time to veg any more, but "quiet time" does give me an opportunity to decompress.  I watch a bit when Tim is playing poker and I don't have any grading to do.  Even with my limited screen time, I still find myself getting sucked into certain shows.  I don't go so far as to record any of them; they happen to be on in accordance to my schedule.
 
1. Say Yes to the Dress
I've been married almost 14 years.  I have no need for a wedding dress.  The women on the show are spending more money on a wedding dress than I spent on my wedding (and honeymoon).  I hated shopping for a dress when I was planning my wedding.  I would have worn jeans and a T-shirt if I could have gotten away with it.  Why on earth am I watching this show about brides shopping for the perfect dress?  The only possible explanation is that I am trying to counter all the testosterone in this house.  Right after this show is...

2. Four Weddings
Four brides attend each others weddings, give scores, and the bride with the highest score gets a dream honeymoon.  This show should be a warning to all males out there preparing to pop the question: elope!  Go to Vegas or the courthouse.  The least expensive wedding on this show has been $9,000.  I won't even mention how expensive some of these events are.  And, there's the rub.  The wedding has morphed into an event, a giant party instead of a union of two people.  Take that cash and put a down payment on a house.  Speaking of  buying houses...

3. Property Brothers
Twin brothers are in business together: one is a real estate agent and the other is a contractor.  They show people what they think they want in a house.  When the buyers realize they can't afford "the" house, the brothers show them fixer uppers and redo the house within the buyers' budget.  This is actually a really good show.  It just makes me want to take a sledge hammer to mine.  Plus, how the hell can they renovate a whole house in five weeks and on budget?  

The Ultimate LOR

I have written many a letter of recommendation throughout my illustrious career, and my letters have yielded scholarship money, entrance into schools and honors programs, and jobs/internships.  This current letter I have been asked to write is more important than all the rest.  A former student has asked me to write a letter vouching for his character to keep him from being deported.

No pressure.

I remember this kid fondly.  We bonded over a mutual love of James Bond (ha!).  I honestly didn't know that he was here illegally.  This was not the situation with other students of mine from Chandler High; many could barely speak the language.  He was funny, expressed a love of Madonna and J.Lo, and was teased for being gay (even though he professed often that he wasn't).  He was and is a productive member of society.  He isn't a criminal or a layabout.  So many of these government policies look good on paper, but painful in practice.  He didn't have a choice to be here: his parents brought him when he was a child. How can you be sent back to a country you don't know or remember? I hope my letter will do him justice and he can stay.

Like Father, Like Son

I'm not sure who had more fun at Drake's birthday party: the kids, or the grown-ups (specifically, my dad and brother).  This is what happens when you give two grown men tokens at Chuck E. Cheese's.

Phill went first...

And Dad followed...

It took a while for those two to recover fully.  I believe they each earned three tickets for their hard work.

Dear People using the family workout area in the Y

Did you bring your children with you today?

YES: Proceed to next question

NO: Please leave.  You are hogging the machines needed by/set aside specifically for those of us with kidlets in tow.  And if you still insist on breaking the rules and staying, stay off the equipment with TV screens if you don't plan on watching TV.  Some of us need to be distracted from our kidlets "playing" in the kiddie corral area.

Are your children too old to play in the kiddie corral area?

YES:  I'm glad you encouraged them to bring a book to read, but make sure they aren't sitting on the equipment to do it.  Have them move to a table.  That's their purpose.

NO:  Good for you.  Turn up the volume and get to it.

NBA bound

Two weeks ago was the very first organized sporting event for both Drake and Flynn.  It didn't really matter that neither understood how to play the game.  I am proud of them for getting out on the court (without tears or tantrums), for listening to their coaches, and for trying.  I was, however, sore from laughing so hard.  Watching small children play an organized sport is hilarious!  It's like herding confused, hyper cats.  Volunteers who coach at this level deserve a medal.

Flynn was first.  He's number 4 on the red team.  His defensive skills reminded us of a zombie Frankenstein.

And then there's Drake.  This doesn't fully capture this gazelle-like running ability, but it does include his very first possession. He's on the blue team, also number 4.

Last Saturday was a little different.  Drake scored his first basket, and Flynn refused to play.  During swim classes, participation is the opposite: Flynn wants to dive in, and Drake would rather swim if no water was involved.  I guess that's the way it goes.  It is nice to see them developing their own interests.  I just hope the amount of driving on my part will be minimized.  :)

On 60

Today marks what would have been Bill and Joyce's (my in-laws) 60th wedding anniversary.  I have always loved that it was on Groundhog Day: such a non-traditional way to remember the date.  I wish I could have known them better.  I wish that I could call up and ask for child rearing advice (after seven kids, you are an expert).  I wish the boys could have known them and I wish they could have met the boys.  As much as I wish for what cannot be, I am grateful for what I have.  I got to spend time with them.  I got to see the unparalleled pride in their expressions at Tim's college graduation.  I got to spend Christmas with them, and Joyce, as sick as she was, made a batch of fudge just because I made an offhand comment that I liked it.  Their legacy lives on.  I see it in Tim; they raised him to be a good man, husband, and father.  We show they boys pictures and tell them stories about the grandparents they will never meet.  But, they will always be with us.

Those crazy kids!

More kid funnies

Scene: In the car.  Queen's "We Will Rock You" comes on the radio.
Drake:  Why is he kicking his cats all over the place?


Scene: I'm cooking dinner: chicken seasoned with rosemary.
Drake:  Mommy, why are you cooking the chicken with grass?



Scene: running through the house with arms flailing.
Flynn:  Help!  The cheese is chasing me!  The cheese is going to get me!


I love my funny family.  :)