A Confession

I have the DVR set to record the royal wedding.

To the casual observer, this bit of information is shocking and unexpected.  To those who know that deep, deep, DEEP down I have an inner girly-girl, it isn't so much. 

I distinctly recall watching the wedding of Charles and Diana.  I remember the coverage started at five in the morning.  I remember what the TV looked like.  (It was the TV that eventually ended up in my parents' room.  The On/Off button fell off and a piece of tubing was inserted in its place.  It has two dials: one for lower channels and one for UHF.)  The wedding was quite an event.  All the spectacle.  That ridiculously long train on her dress.  The sparkling jewels. 

This wedding is the modern take on the fairy tale.  Kate is a commoner who landed a prince; it's the ultimate fantasy.  A commoner who will eventually be queen.  (Let's face it-- Charles will never be king because Queen Elizabeth is going to outlive him.)  Diana was already an aristocrat when she married Charles.  Plus, wouldn't it be nice to have an occasion to wear a tiara and not look foolish?

Just an observation (please, no hate mail)

I teach mostly online, but I still grace the campus with my illustrious presence. I noticed as I was grading essays that the students in fully online courses tend to write on more religious subjects. When my students see my face, they tend to leave god out of their writing. Both groups are given identical parameters. The first essay in this batch was about being Christian. Unfortunately for her, the essay with rife with misinformation. There is at least one essay about being Mormon in the group. (Over half the essays were about religion.)

So now I'm curious.  Why is there a higher percentage of students writing on religious subjects in an online class versus a face-to-face class?  Are there more overly religious students in online programs?  Do their religious beliefs make them not want to step foot on an campus?  Do they feel safer at a distance, free from religious persecution?  Or is it just the anonymity that emboldens them?  Most people are more snarky when online because of the detachment.  Maybe this applies to religion, too.

:) (Drake gems of the day)

Drake:  Mommy, when I'm 21, I'll move out of the house.
Me: You're going to move out when you are 21?
D: No, I don't think so.
M:  What made you say that?
D:  I've been eating jellybeans.  They make me say funny things.

***

Drake: Mommy, I can't get my pants on.  They are not understanding me.

Kid logic

At the allergist's office last week, Drake was playing a game on my phone.  The app is cute.  Kids need to fit colored pieces into a larger shape.  (I'm cheap and only downloaded the free, lite version.  There are only 20 shapes to scroll through.)  Flynn and I were watching Drake slide the pieces into the bigger picture.  I asked him if he knew what the picture was.  "It's a lizard."  And I responded to him, "Yes.  That's a gecko, and a gecko is a type of lizard."

His response:  "Yeah, and it talks sometimes."

I guess we haven't covered reality vs. TV non-reality yet.

Flynn's Pom Pom Critter Song

In order to understand the video at the end, I have to explain the situation in parts.

Part 1-  We made pom pom critters today.  The craft project was a bit of a fiasco, but the boys enjoyed themselves.

One of the mostly decent PPCs made.
(Don't pick him up, however.  The glue was not so sticky.)

Part 2-  Children pick up on our habits.  I was unaware of how much I hum to myself until both boys started doing it.  I also enjoy making up songs.  My most famous song is the "Spicy Beef Song".  Tim and I had been married for three or four years before I created that one.  There's also a dance to go along with it.

Part 3- My children love cameras. They really do. As much as they love cameras, they aren't keen on standing still having their picture taken. They immediately want to see the result on the LCD screen. They are more interested in seeing themselves on the screen than doing the work needed for me to take the damn picture to appear on the screen. Video is more difficult to caputre. I have to be really, really sneaky to get video of them any more.

And now, without further ado, the Pom Pom Critter Song!

OK, so he's just shouting "pom pom critters" over and over while banging the drum.  He would do it for long stretches, until, naturally, I brought out the camera. 

Dragonfly

This is Dragonfly.  He's a wind up toy that we've had for almost a year.  Yesterday, Drake's nurturing instincts finally kicked in.  He made an elaborate bed for Dragonfly (as seen above).  He protected him from Flynn, and generally took excellent care of him.  Dragonfly had conversations with Drake, translated, of course, through Daddy.  Toward bedtime, I gave Drake a shoebox to make a new bed for Dragonfly.  Drake decorated the box and used an old towel to make a bed.  At night, he and I tucked in Dragonfly and gave him kisses.  This morning, Dragonfly was found tucked in next to Drake. 

Wait, was that the sun?

On Friday, the PNW finally had a reprieve from all the damn rain.  As a result, EVERYONE went to the park.  I think all the kids got along because they were all so grateful to be out of doors instead of cooped up.

Flynn adopted a new family, mostly because they had bubbles and balls.

Drake, trying to figure out how to reach the monkey bars.
(He's practicing for Ninja Warrior.)

Achieving Total Victory
(OK, he just climbed to the top of the climbing rock.)

A note to all you single guys out there.  If you want to pick up chicks, take Flynn with you.  That boys made the rounds, chatting up every woman with a dog.  He never said hi to a dog that was there with a guy.  Only the ladies.  He can work a crowd.

Hello, ladies.  I see you have a small dog.

The coolest part of the day was when the Chinook flew overhead.  Every boy (big and small) stopped whatever he was doing and looked toward the sky, mouths agape and silent for several minutes.  All the girls stopped for a split second, wondering where the noise was coming from, then returned to business as usual.

The picture doesn't do it justice.  It was flying pretty low.

Eavesdropping

I'm a notorious eavesdropper.  I can't help it.  I know it's rude.  But today, it wasn't my fault.  Here's why.  As an adjunct, I don't have my own office.  I share a large space with all of the other adjuncts on campus.  In the center of the room is an area with sofas for instructors to meet with students.  Knowing I have a problem with eavesdropping, I shouldn't pick a desk next to this area.   But, usually, that is all that is open when I finally show up to use the office space.  A math teacher and her pissed off student sit down, and this is when I started listening...

"The problem I have with math teachers is..."

This student is incredibly bitchy and has an overdeveloped sense of entitlement.  I cannot hear the instructor's side of the conversation because she is keeping her voice low.  The student, however, is practically shouting.  Here are some of the gems. 

"If you miss a step,  I'll create a file and make everything difficult for you."

"I knew I was going to have a problem with you, but I took your class anyway."

"I don't come to class because it's a waste of my time."

"That I need to attend, that's your opinion.  It's my right to leave or not attend.  have you ever thought of that?"

Instructor:  "Do you want to be treated special?"
Student:  "No, but I'm going to do things my way.  Until it's written in the syllabus, I'm going to do things my way."

"I already know the information."

"I'm going to let you finish talking, and then I'm going to."

"I'm paying to be here.  If I want to not attend, that's my right.  No, it's my time to talk now."

"I'm there.  My stuff's there."

I started typing this, mostly so it didn't look like I was eavesdropping.  That, and she finally lowered her voice.  The last thing I overheard was the student going on about students' rights and needing a third party mediator to settle this. 

So, here's how I understand it.  The instructor established the rules of her class.  Be on time.  Stay the whole time.  Don't get up during class because it's disruptive to the others in the class.  Show your work.  Here are the assignments.  This student feels she knows it all, and, due to her poor planning, has to get up to pee frequently during class.  Personally, I don't care.  That is how I have established my class.  I do tell my students not to act like assholes and be respectful.  But, she teaches math, which requires more precision and less bullshitting.  That is how she has set up her course.  Every instructor is different, but you need to follow the rules set forth by your instructor.  If you don't like it, don't take a class from that instructor.  Vote with your feet.

After the student left, the instructor was exasperated.  She said, "Why does she keep taking classes from me?"

Want a good laugh?

When in Phoenix, the existence of a certain photograph became part of discussion.  Upon my return home, I unearthed said photo from its ancient photo album, in order to scan it and send the embarrassing proof to friends.  When I did this, the photo album fell apart.  Pictures were everywhere.  So, I now needed to scan all the photos instead of just one.  (And that project was moved up on the mighty and massive "To Do" list.)

There is a considerable amount of downtime in between each scan.  While waiting for the machine to perform its duty, I read the notes written on the back of the photos.  It is always a good idea to write on the back of photos so you can remember who the hell those people are and what we all were doing in that shot.  (Nowadays, one would tag the photo.)  The real entertainment was reading the messages written on the back of the school photos.  If you want a good laugh, go back and read those messages.  I won't divulge any of that info here, but I can tell you that it involves many exclamation points and BFFs.  You can't get that kind of entertainment exchanging photos on Facebook.  It's a lost art, being that it's handwritten.  Reading the messages written in your yearbook is just as entertaining.