I really need to stop reading magazines

I've come to the realization than magazines that target women really do target women.  Our collective heads have been placed upon the target with arrows constantly shooting at us.  You aren't organized enough-- fidd-d-d-d-d.  (I don't know how to phonetically spell out an arrow hitting a target.  In my head, the sound comes from a Daffy Duck cartoon).  You're looking too old.  You're looking too fat.  What do you mean you aren't hand-stitching chipboard onto the hand pressed paper in your daily scrapbook?  You're a horrible mother for purchasing cupcakes at the store for your child's birthday party.  You need to be a super woman in every thing you do.  You need to be perfect; otherwise, you are unworthy of love, success, and children.  Bah!  Evil magazines.  The worst of these "archers": magazines run by women.  Don't we feel enough inadequacies without you bringing up some more that we didn't consider on our own?

Men's magazines are must simpler and don't impose judgement upon the reader.  Look!  Cars.  Guns.  Naked women.  Aren't these really neat? 

So jealous.