Identity crisis

My mind wanders frequently, more frequently as of late.  If it were a child, it would have been grounded long ago for not checking in.  My brain is scattered.  This must be what ADHD is like.  When I become overwhelmed, I just shut down.  I didn't used to do that; the pressure used to make be buckle down and work more diligently.  I'm fairly certain I will be receiving negative reviews from my students this quarter.

I'm sitting at a Write-In, using the time to write for the blog.  I haven't had opportunity much during the last few crazy weeks.  When I'm writing, I'm thinking of other things.  When I'm working or doing other miscellaneous tasks, I want to be/thinking of writing.  In my heart, I know I want to write.  When I'm around these creative people, I feel like a fraud.  I am sitting in a room with a dozen books published among these people.  One has been published by an honest to goodness publisher (complete with contract).  I read the blogs from others I know, and I feel like a fraud, too.

I need to stop comparing myself to others.  My self-esteem is stunted and immature.  I need to follow my passion, even if it is still in its formative stage.  I've claimed to be a writer for years, but I never did anything about it.  It's been less than two years since I have truly been pursuing it.  I forget these other people have been actively doing this for years/decades.  You don't make a free throw the first time you try, and you don't publish your first work (not without significant revision).  I will evolve into the writer I want to be.  And when I do, I will get that inkwell tattoo, officially branding myself as one.