Super Bowl Sunday

We have not exposed the boys to much football, mostly because we are a racing family.  They know all about Daytona, Indy, and Monaco.  (Drake also knows quite a bit about Texas Hold 'Em, but that's another story.)  Here's a bit of our experience from Super Bowl XLV, both conversations with Drake and my snarky responses.

Drake:  Mommy, can I watch monster trucks?
Me: No honey.  Monster trucks aren't on because of the Super Bowl.
D: What's the Super Bowl?
M:  The biggest football game of the year.
D:  OK, let's watch that.
...
D:  Mommy, I think Ben Steeler is going to win because he steals the ball then throws it to Packer.
...
I must go see Cowboys vs. Aliens.   Mmmm... Daniel Craig... Yes, please!
...
I wish they would change the name of the drink to "Eminem's Shut up and Drink it".
....
D:  There's a LOT of football players today.
...
D:  Oh!  They all crashed!   Oh no, he dropped the ball!
...
Joan Rivers in booty shorts?  I need some Purell for my eyeballs.
...
D:  Flynn! Go Away!  I'm watching football right now.
...
D: Did they win?
M: No honey.  It's only the second quarter.
D:  What does that mean?
M:  There are four quarters in a game, like there are four quarters in a dollar.
D:  Mommy, can I have a dollar?
...
D:  Are they going to play all day?
...
The Darth Vader Volkswagen commercial is awesome, but I think the whole world saw it last week through Facebook.
...
(After seeing a Steeler throw his helmet) D:  Mommy, what happened to his hat?!?  Why did he lose his hat?!?
...
I am already addicted to Facebook.  I don't need my car giving me status updates while I drive.
...
(After Steelers touchdown)  D:  Oh, he touched it.  Now he needs to throw it over the goal.
...
We had the game paused while we went out to Wendy's.  I get to skip the entire halftime show.  From what I gather from FB, it blows in a major way.
...
Another show about people fabricating vehicles in a short amount of time while yelling at each other.  Yippie...
...
When your beard sticks through your helmet, it's time for a shave.
...
The game is into the third quarter, and Drake's interest is starting to wane.  Flynn has been trying to get my attention the whole game.  Let the sibling squabbles begin!
...
Drake just earned a four minute penalty for hitting.
...
How many bloody G's are there?  Oh, Ozzy, is there anything you won't shill?  Still love you, though.
...
The Steelers just scored.  We just switched over to the Puppy Bowl on Animal Planet.  Both boys enthralled.
...
Now checking the score online.  I think we are done with the game.  Better luck next year.