A sleepless haiku

Sleep, you coy mistress
With your mysterious ways
Alluding me so

Oh, return to me
So I do not lose my mind
And snap at my boys

Oh sweet Sudafed
Work your gloriousness, that
I may breathe again

New Product Idea

Lysol needs to create a disinfectant bomb.  It's akin to a flea bomb, only instead of killing fleas, it kills germs.  Perfect to use when everyone is sick.  I could really use one right now.  So many sick germs. :P

Dear Makers of NyQuil

Did you change the formula?  I remember, back in the day, that I could take a shot of NyQuil and wake up a bit groggy and hungover.  But it was a great feeling because I had slept.  Now, I am feeling just groggy because I haven't slept.  It is very difficult to sleep when one nostril is dripping.  (The right, BTW.)  Could you please change the formula back to its originial state?  You could rebrand it as NyQuil Classic™.  It worked for Coca-Cola.

Appreciation

I feel that I frittered away my childless years, selfishly pissing away moments I should have appreciated.  Here is a partial list:

1.  Eight+ hours of uninterrupted sleep
2.  Leisurely trips to the grocery store/mall/tourist destinations
3.  Reading a book in the middle of the day
4.  Doing laundry once a week
5.  Eating at restaurants with real silverware
6.  Spare time
7.  Quiet rides in the car
8.  Stainless shirts
9.  Alone time that doesn't involve a bathroom
10. Short term memory

All hail, the Magic Lunch God

My boys love Top Ramen.  Love it, love it, love it.  They would marry it if it were legal in this state.  (I'm sure it must be legal in some state.  Send a list, if you have one.)  I asked D, "Would you like Ramen for lunch today?"  "OH, YES!" was the response and he ran to his place at the dining room table.  I hadn't started boiling the water yet, but that's where he wanted to wait.  Okey dokey.

So, I guess I am raising two fraternity brothers.  Between their penchant for Top Ramen and preferring to roam the house wearing only underwear, I'm pretty sure that I am.  I was never in a fraternity, mostly because I am a girl, but I watch a lot of movies.  And if you can't trust a fictional movie for information, who can you trust?

Viva la Resistance!

When I went to sleep, the land known as Parentaville was calm and quiet.  The humble monarchy slept easy, knowing the kingdom was safe, and it ruled in a benevolent manner, fair and loving.  I awoke in Drakesylvania.  During the night in a bloodless coup, the diminutive dictator overthrew the monarchy, and tyranny swept the 1100 square foot land.  None were exempt from the oppressive power of the Neo-Mussolini.  A small band of resistance fighters are working to restore the monarchy.  The dictator's second in command, the Minister of Chaos, can be bribed with cheese and baked goods; this powerful ally will be essential to return the land to its former prosperity.  Hopefully, this will come to a peaceful resolution swiftly.

Day 1- NaNoWriMo

Day 1 has been going well.  Note the use of past tense.  I was writing along at a good clip.  I wrote this morning before the boys woke.  I wrote during nap/quiet time.  I was doing great.  I'm almost to the suggested daily word count (1145/1667).  And then it happened.  I realized that the story in my head, the story that's been trapped in there for SIX years, is almost complete.  Shit.  I've completed 2% of the final product and the story is almost told out.  It won't even qualify as a short story; it's flash fiction.  No matter how you define it, I'll be way, way short of the 50,000 word count.  Now what?  Daaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaamn!