This makes me a horrible human being, doesn't it?

This week, I am volunteering my B4K time and equipment at a day camp for a local church.  (For future reference, if I ever agree to do something like this for free again, please slap me.)  And, as the saying goes, no good deed goes unpunished.  Yesterday, I met the human version of Draco Malfoy and his two cronies.  I don't know if the kid could perform magic; most likely not, since the church is rather conservative and probably forbids the reading of Harry Potter and its Devil-magic.  When I was younger, I was one of those cronies, always wanting to be accepted by the popular, charismatic one.  I wanted to be noticed and be a part of the elusive inner sanctum.  Draco was the charismatic kid with the strong personality.  I'm sure he gets his way in every walk of life, and, if not, convinces others to get stuff for him.  Because of the numbers in the class, there was a group of three (which I despise doing).  He, naturally, was a part of the group of three with his two cronies.  Draco spent ten minutes in the middle of the build using the power drill model they were constructing as a gun.  He gave me nothing but attitude and snark during the class, letting me know he was better than I.  When it wasn't his step to build, he was in the face and openly belittling another kid in the class.  So what if that other kid was working on a simpler version of the drill; that awkward kid finished.  Draco and his group did not.  One of the cronies came to me upset.  "But, we didn't finish."  My response: "I know, sweetie.  But remember, one of your group mates spent ten minutes playing with the model before it was finished."  I felt bad for the crony.  He watched the awkward kid laugh and have fun with his finished model.  It's a hard lesson to learn, about standing up for yourself.  I told him to remember this for tomorrow and maybe he could work with a different partner, for tomorrow's build involves a remote control.

Today, the kids bounded into the room, psyched for the build.  Motors and remotes!  I made all of them partner with someone.  There was an even number today, so no groups of three.  Draco tried to convince me he needed to be in a group of four.  I said no because the group of three couldn't finish yesterday.  One of the cronies had to be away from Draco.  The crony was pretty bummed to be away from his leader.  The build started, and funny, every group but Draco's finished and had enough time to attach the remotes and play.  The discarded crony had finished and was racing his bulldoze model across the room.  At two minutes before clean up, Draco hands me his model.  "We aren't done."  What little was done was completely incorrect.  I have no idea what instructions he was following because it certainly wasn't what I had given him.  I was able to rig something together so it would move, but no remote was able to be attached.  He never asked for help.  He never attempted to give any effort.  He was humbled.  And I was thrilled (on the inside, of course).  He wasn't the top dog, the MVP,  the go-to guy, the golden boy.  He was just like the rest of those kids are on any given day.  He finally knew what those other kids felt like, the ones he openly mocks every day.  And guess what, the other kids were having too much fun to make fun of Draco for not finishing or not having skills or not being the best.  I'm probably a horrible person to be so happy that he had that lesson.  He'll probably go back to being his normal self tomorrow.  I hope his cronies stop elevating him to God-like status and learn to stand up for themselves.

The Kid's Version of Kickstarter

Drake hates getting his face wet.  Always has.  He screamed bloody murder during his first mom-administered bath because I dared to touch a washcloth to his cheek.  The progress during swimming lessons has been painfully slow because he refuses to put his head under.  Getting him to shower/bathe has been a challenge lately, which is unfortunate because it's summer.  Summer = Sweaty, stinky boys.  During one of our bath time power struggles, after much protestation, I finally said to him, "You could always invent something that will get you completely clean without having to take a shower or a bath.  Until then, this is the only way to get the stink off."  He, much to my amazement, was listening and taking my words to heart.

Enter the lemonade stand. Drake asked if he could set up one. I firmly believe this is a rite of passage in childhood, and I was/am extremely supportive of the endeavor.  I took him to the grocery store for supplies (which he had to pay back from the sales at the stand).  I let him choose items that would give him the most bang for his buck.  He and Flynn were responsible for manning the stand, waving at cars driving by, explaining the menu options to customers, delivering the product.  I sat out with them to help with pouring and to make sure no one ran into the busy street.  We were out there for three hours, which was way longer than I expected them to last.  They had 15 customers during that time, including one lady who only gave a donation.  The received lots of honks and smiles and waves, and lots of praise from those who stopped.

Open for business

One gentleman who stopped mentioned that he used to do this 50 years ago.  He then asked the boys what they were going to do with the money.  Drake responded, "I'm going to build my new invention that will let you take a shower without taking a shower.  No water, but like a shower."  The man was a little taken aback.  He was probably expecting Flynn's answer of buying a bunch of stuff.  He wished Drake luck on his endeavors and walked back to his car with a smile.

Flynn's attempt at crowd control
"YoHfTuPark"

They had me write this at the curb.

What they learned from the experience:

• Eat a big lunch.  Otherwise, we end up eating our snacks for sale.
• People really only want to buy drinks instead of snacks.
• More people chose Strawberry Kiwi over regular Lemonade.
• If Mommy puts away all of the snack stand, a large portion of the day's profits go to Mommy as payment for services rendered.
• People tend to be ridiculously generous when you only ask for donations instead of a set price per cup.
• Next time will be all profit, since many supplies are left over.
• Working a lemonade stand is really fun...when there are customers.
• Being patient is really hard.

The stand will probably become our Saturday midday activity for most of the summer.  Stop by and donate to Drake's Awesome Invention Fund.

My kids are pretty sweet...

..when they aren't throwing tantrums.

One of my big fears as a parent is my children will be jerks.  I encourage good manners and being nice to people, but it's really out of my control.  I've had a glimpse that hopefully my fears are unfounded.

Flynn and I went to the LEGO store in Bellevue on Wednesday. While getting ready to drive there, Flynn found a quarter.  He told me that if I needed to buy anything that cost 25¢, he'd take care of it. After an hour of shopping in the store, we left the store to get lunch.  The kate spade store recently opened next door to the LEGO store.  Jokingly, I told him, "Honey, if you ever need to buy Mommy a present, that's the place to go."  Without hesitation, he reached into his pocket, took out the quarter, and started to go into kate spade.  My heart melted a little.  (Can one purchase anything in kate spade for a quarter?)  Flynn is also the same kid who gave his daycare lady 42¢ so she could buy oatmeal, raisin bran, and Cheerios.

Drake brought home a big book containing artwork and photos from his kindergarten year.  Most of his answers on the question sheets involve me.  What is love: Mommy.  How can I be more like Jesus: helping my Mommy.  (The accompanying drawing was odd him helping me wash LEGOs.)

Such sweeties.  I write this now, so when they are teenagers, I can look back fondly.  Oh, and so I have some evidence.  Just in case.

Flynn's bank story

When Flynn and I go to the bank, he insists on sitting at the desk in the lobby and drawing a "map" on deposit slips.  To the untrained eye, the map is a bunch of scribbles.  To him, the scribbles include where we are, how we got there, and some hidden challenges along the way.

The upper right is our house.  The lower right is the bank and the bank's main doors.  The challenges are in the middle.

On the other side of yesterday's map was a drawing.  And here's the story he told me to go along with it.

Once there was a sea monster who lived under the water.  No one ever saw the sea monster because he was invisible.  One day, along came a fish.  He said to the sea monster, "You need to come on land.  That's where all the food is," he explained.  The sea monster went on land and got the food.  The End.

You can see the sea monster on the left.

The bank employee who was assisting me had no idea what to make if this.  I was impressed he used the word "explained".

Dreaming

Current time: 3:43 a.m.

I have had a fitful night of sleep, fighting a self-induced migraine cause by lack of Starbucks.  Tossing, turning, dosing, pain, fighting, and finally, a nap.  In the most recent interrupted portentous vision, I dreamt I was on the talk show circuit, promoting my novel.  You know, the one I haven't finished yet and spend more time writing about it here than writing it.  One can ignore the Muses for only so long before they stop being so subtle. I get it, ladies. Message received.

Pinterest

I've been hearing about Pinterest for a while and its meth-like addiction.  Other moms spend hours on end scouring the boards and repinning image after image.  I finally succumbed and joined, but not as myself and my personal interested.  I joined as the business.  (Bricks 4 Kidz Tacoma... just in case you haven't seen my 80-zillion Facebook posts and tweets.)  Lots of pins of Lego bricks and Lego related crafts.

Bite me

At first blush, I thought the site was all about, "Hey, look at this super cool thing I found."  The truth is much more sinister. I was unaware that it was a site promoting DIY perfection.  It pits woman against woman to duke it out for domestic superiority.  If the valentines handed out to your child's class weren't handmade, you are a failure as both a mother and a woman.  The myth of the super mom is alive and well, and feasting on our souls. Everything we do must exceed the expectations of others.  I'm all for handmade valentines, but if your child is handing them out, the cards need to be made from that child's hands. 

It must be nice to be a young, full of energy and optimism.  How about we let the lazy moms be lazy?  Just for a little while.  We can start a site showcasing the shortcuts we make every day to keep the shorties in our house alive and make our lives a little easier.  Little tips like, "I take shampoo and soap along to use after swim class.  This way, they don't need a bath for a couple more days."   Mostly, we're just too tired.  Thankfully, we lazy moms have Etsy: the place where young, energetic moms sell the cool stuff they found on Pinterest to the moms who are too tired to give a crap.

Today's funny

Drake:  I invented a new color.  The color of awesome!
Flynn: Oooooo!  What does it look like?
Drake: I don't know yet.